Yesterday afternoon I turned on the TV as I began to prep for supper. I decided to leave it on Dr. Phil (even though I had already missed half the episode), and then went back into the kitchen to continue on my supper preparing. I finally got the chicken prepped in placed in the oven, and so I sat down in my big comfy chair to watch the last bit of Dr. Phil. The episode was about domestic violence, and Dr. Phil has different women on the show to share their stories. It was heart wrenching to hear what all these women had endured, and some were still living in fear of their lives. As the episode came to an end, I decided I would find something else to watch (as I did not care to watch Oprah interview Ted Turner & Jane Fonda), and settled on watching Joyce Meyer. As I tuned in there was Joyce sharing her testimony. She was sharing how she had been abused physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually during her childhood. I thought, “Ok God, what are you trying to get me to see here? Both programs that I have decided to tune into today have been focused on abuse.” ( I am an analyzer to some degree, and try to connect things at times.) So then my mind began focusing on what I have been feeling the Lord impress upon on me for the past few months. I have felt him impressing this upon me before, but I didn’t really know what to do with it at the time. I shared a few blogs back that I had started a group on FB called “I Am Worth It.” This group was birthed out of what I feel God leading to me do at this time. This group is geared toward helping girls/women who struggle with their self-worth. Issues from abuse, sexual promiscuity, depression, etc. are topics that are to be discussed. This is a group where girls/women can feel free & safe to share their struggles, hurts, & pains. A place where they can receive hope, encouragement, and love.
Well forming that group is only part of the plan that God has for me. I feel that God is calling me to reach out to these girls & women. He is calling me to help them & share with them that there is hope & that they are loved. He is calling me to go all over speaking & sharing with these girls & women. I am still not all that sure of how I will do this, but I do know that if God has called me to this then it will happen! So, I took seeing those two shows yesterday, as God confirming His plan for me. I took it as His way of saying, “Jaclyn this is what I want you to do.”
You see, this is something that is near to my heart. I didn’t suffer anything as horrific as what Joyce went through or what some of those women on Dr. Phil went through, but I do know what it means to be emotionally beat down to the point of losing yourself. I know what it feels like to have no self-respect for yourself because you aren’t sure of your self-worth. I know what it is like to give yourself away, and feel as if you are stuck in quicksand. But I also know what it is like to have a God who will fight for you. I know what it is like to be rescued by a Father who loves you more than anything else in the whole world. I know what it’s like to have a Savior who will redeem you from all the dark smut that once covered your life. I know what it’s like to receive the hope, healing, & love of a Savior who gave His life for you because He said, “You are worth it!”
This is not something that is easy for me to share, but it is something that God is calling me to do. God is not calling me to share my story so that I can be made to be in the spotlight or so that other people can have pity on me. No, He is calling me to share my story so that other people who may find themselves in these situations can see that there is hope, that they are loved, and so that HE (GOD) can be glorified.
I was delivered from the darkness that had a hold on me, but it was by nothing that I did. It was EVERYTHING that He did!
“For freedom Christ has set us free. “Galatians 5:1