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Something Beautiful


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Yesterday I had this picture in my mind as I listened to NEEDTOBREATHE’s song, “Something Beautiful.” I saw this picture in my mind, but the woman at the feet of Jesus was me. I was at His feet completely broken and sobbing, just in need of Him and His touch. As I listened to the song over and over again, I was consumed with His Presence. I could feel Him with me in my car as I listened. He was all around me. He was with me. 

This journey of infertility has been a difficult one, to say the least. It is not one of those journeys you expect to find yourself traveling. You don’t pack your backpack with everything you will need, put on some form of protectant cream, or even pack snacks to enjoy along the way. No, you just find yourself on the journey somehow. Unprepared. No protectant cream and no snacks. Some days the journey isn’t as hard to get through, while other days feel as if you are traveling through quicksand every step of the way. 

This song, “Something Beautiful,” spoke to me yesterday as I was driving. And I found myself having a spiritual experience with every word. 

 

In your ocean, I’m ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin’ on my feet
It’s like I know where I need to be
But I can’t figure out, yeah I can’t figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There’s only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin’ quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can’t be sure when it will subside
So I won’t leave your side, no I can’t leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn’t live like this
I wouldn’t stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won’t have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful 

It’s amazing to me how God uses the littlest things to speak volumes into our lives. There in my car, through a song, He spoke to me. He touched me. He assured me that despite this difficult journey, He’s got me. He loves me. He adores me. And He knows my brokenness, my hurt, my sorrow, and my desire. There in my car, I was somehow at His feet. I was reaching out to Him as He was reaching out to me. There in my car, He reminded me I am His beloved no matter if I find myself in a valley or on a mountain top. 

And as I continue to walk this journey for who knows how much longer ( I pray I do not have to wait till I am as old as Sarah or Elizabeth, Lord. Please.), I will continue falling at His feet singing, 

Hey now, this is my desire Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful To touch me, I know that I’m in reach ‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful Oh, something beautiful

 

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